Wednesday, May 6, 2015

From Girly name to First Kiss

I was completely dressed in pink saree and blouse. Mom and Shrutika were sitting on sofa when I came out. They asked me to come close. I went and stood in front of them. Shrutika took out a wig from her bag and asked me to wear it. I was stumbling to get it properly fit. But I was excited to habe my first wig. Mom said 'just a few months sweetie..by then your own hairs will be long enough'. I somehow managed to get the wig properly fit. They asked me to sit down..thats when shrutika pointed out to me to cross my legs. I did as she instructed. She had some paper in her hand. She gave to me and asked to read. It was a checklist I had to comply with from now on. It went on like this -
1) Delete all social networking profiles.
2) No more mens clothes except tshirt/shirt which too would be a little girly. That too only to be worn in college or when dad comes home.
3) Daily cooking food. Cleaning house. Washing own as well as moms clothes.
4) No more wearing moms inners or any other clothes. Though i can borrow her sarees.
5) Daily one hour to be spent on YouTube checking make up videos and other girly mannerisms.
6) Daily shaving whole body. Waxing on sunday.
7) Toe nails always to be painted red. Wear shoes to hide if you want to. Hand nails to be painted with clear coat on weekdays and red/pink on weekends.
8) Watching romantic flicks everyday. No more action/sci-fi/comedy movies. If time permits sex and the city or desperate housewives to be watched.
9) No masturbating. Peeing only sitting down.
10) Making new social networking profiles with your own girly pics and no adding girls on it. Only men allowed.
As soon as I finished Mom asked me have I ever masturbated. I nodded no. She asked sternly. To which I said 'Once I had rubbed pillow against my penis while wearing her panties and I came'. Both of them started laughing. Mom asked me to not to do it ever again. I said yes.
They asked me to go cook food. I went to the kitchen and started cooking. My ears were on what they were talking. I was shocked when shrutika asked my mom to put me on oestrogen pills. Mom seemed hesitant. Mom said lets see how i progress maybe later we can if doctors suggest. Shrutika didnt like it i guess. I was relieved but started worrying whether i have to live as a woman all my life now on. I finished cooking and made the dinner table. While we were having food.. Shrutika asked me if I had a name i replied ofcourse as if she didnt know. To which she said a girly name. I said no. She asked my mom we should give her a name. Mom asked me if I had anything in mind. I said no and put my head down. I was very excited to play with my long hairs though it was a wig. Shrutika suggested we should name her Shalini. Mom asked why only that name. She said since her name is Shrutika and moms name is Sheetal and both of them have given birth to the girly me. Something common from their name should be used. Mom agreed to Shalini. Shrutika asked me to make my girly accounts on social networking sites with the name of Shalini. She will help with clicking pics and writing other stuff. I didnt reply. I just finished food. Took their dishes and started cleaning utensils. Shrutika left for her home and went to her room. I finished my chores and went to my bedroom. Thats when mom came in and asked me to remove her saree and give it back. She said since it was my first day as a girl I was given saree to wear. From now on sarees onlu for special occasions. Other times only babydolls, camisoles, pajamas and other comfortable dresses. I said yes. She said no removing bras and panties while sleeping. Only while taking bath i will remove them as well as the fake boobs. I said yes..removed her saree and blouse and petticoat and gave it to her.. i got into a pink babydoll which we had shopped. I was so tired I slept off easily. Next few days it was same routine.. getting up early by 5am.. taking bath by 5.30.. preparing food for mom n me by 8.. Cleaning the house by 9.30.. by then mom would leave and shrutika would arrive.. watching romantic flicks with her.. having lunch.. watching YouTube videos on make up and different dressing styles.. while she would check if i was doing it properly.. studying for couple of hours in afternoon.. start preparing for evening snacks and dinner.. mom wpuld come..shrutika would leave by 5.. telling mom what I learnt today..having dinner with her and then cleaning and back to bed... it was quite simple..I was getting used to it.. I had my social profiles deleted but i was still hesitant to start my girly profiles yet. Even shrutika seemed to have forgotten it. Almost 2 weeks had passed doing this.. and I had not gone out of the house. One day mom asked me about my consulation with Psychiatrist.. I had completely forgotten she had called me. Mom asked me to go next day.. I said okay.. i informed shrutika at night itself about it. Next day was bit hard..I had to become a man.. I was not sure if I liked it.. but shrutika didnt for sure. She took out one of the jeans from my wardrobe and asked me to wear it.. ohh godd it was so hard getting into it.. it took me almost 20mins to wear the jeans.. it was a low waist jeans..it just couldn't hide my panties.. shrutika asked me not to worry and gave me my big old tshirt.. for 1st time in 2 weeks I was removing my bra and fake breasts for 1st time in day time.. shrutika smiled and said maybe u can have a the bra on. I was like r u mad ? She asked me to put on the bra and wear a cami on top of it. I did. And then she made ne wear the tshirt.. she was right.. it was very hard to judge if I had bra on.. I agreed to wearing it. She smiled. I took some money and left for the doctor. When I reached.. there was no one.. that was quite amusing.. i went to doctors cabin and found a male doctor..I checked again at the door..it was my moms friends cabin.. i asked him to which he said to come in.. i told him I wanted to meet the doctor. He said she hasnt come back from her vacations yet and he too is a doctor any he is handling her patients. He asked me what is my case..i just said no..I will come back when she comes and started to move out of there. Thats when he said 'U MUST BE SHALINI' and boom I was hell shocked.. i fell back into the chair.. i couldnt even mumble anything.. he started asking me about the progress I am making.. i just remained silent.. he was the 1st man who knew my reality..i was motionless.. he kept questioning and i remained silent.. I had tears in my eyes.. I could feel them running down my cheeks.. he noticed it and got out of is chair..and kept a hand on my shoulder and asked me to be calm..i got up.. I wanted to leave.. he just held my hand and said its okay.. I looked into his eyes.. he wiped off my tears. He still had on my shoulder.. I could feel his fingers trying to do something...thats when he caught hold of my bra strap and asked if I am wearing a bra.. i hust put my head down.. he lifted my face from chin and looked into my eyes.. we had our eyes locked for dont know how long.. I could feel my breathing getting heavier.. he came close.. idont know what happened. I automatically closed my eyes.. he put his right hand on my waist and pulled me closer to him and left hand on my neck. I didnt know what happened next but we started kissing.. I had my lips closed but he forced me to open.. we had our tongues into each other.. I was enjoying it..it felt like heaven.. he kept fondling my ass all the time.. he stopped kissing on lips and went to my neck.. all the time my eyes were closed.. thats when I felt pain and my eyes opened to reality..a man was kissing me..yuckks.. I pushed him and ran away from there.. I had started crying again.. he kept calling shalini come back but i just kept running and crying.. i got into the cab.. somehow managed to tell the cab driver my address and left from there.. i just couldnt imagine what had happened thpugh the pictures of us kissing kept flashing in my mind.

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